Always look at the bigger picture. Patience is more valuable than temporary outburst. Losing your temper at work is very obvious either for petty issues or for the perspective problems people could associate it to.
And more often it is not at all intentional that your anger cracks. The main reason is stress taking over, the factor that destroys your reputation for a moment’s relief and glory. The sad fact is the pressure can get too much. The brutality of this procedure is that your colleague or the person you burst out on doesn’t forget it so easily though you can fad off that particular instant as a bad time and move on as nothing ever happened.
Anger outbursts at work is the primary cause of cluster of fears and confusion. Gauging the practicality of the situation should always be at the forefront of the person’s mind.
A Professor of Psychology from the University of Queensland states in his classic articles, “Bad is stronger than Good”. In today’s world with the people’s narrow mindset it holds true. But both good and bad are both equally the optimum qualities. It is just what you give power to. Like another analogy would be, “Poison works faster than medicine”. Medicine is powerful in its own way but takes time unlike the poison. Curing is always a longer process than it takes to aggravate a situation.
And to counter gauge the situation, we approach it with the intention and not humanity. At the very least, we look at the bigger picture of the situation and let the bad go to work in better atmosphere for the project or designation that is assigned to you.
How to control your temper?
To calm down under any circumstance. This not only helps others around you to settle with the fact that you were under extreme stress. Counter the situation by playing it back and forth in the mind. Any given day, it is not your words but it is how you make them feel that remains and that people retain.
This gives you a minute to gauge the situation in order to evaluate your response and the likely outcome. Needn’t be similar, but in the end, you will always remain at the higher ground to speak.
Running the situation in your brain could give you one possibility but it helps you handle the situation from your end.
Start being honest with yourself. Identify the factors that contributed to the outburst. There is no question of ego when it comes to right or wrong. If you have an established history of losing your temper from the norm then there are likely high chances of people streamlining to something else.
It does affect you and your reputation in the long run, mostly in a negative. Changes are, you might not be able to switch to another job having a bad record of events in one company. And more so people would question their reliability on you?
Apologize. Irrespective of the issue and whoever is the culprit and, in many cases, the innumerable factors are totally involved. This would reduce the seriousness of the problem and others’ burden of carrying the emotional baggage. Also, this is important according to the research as the study says,
Expression of regret
Explanation of what went wrong
Acknowledgement of responsibility
Declaration of repentance
Offer of repair
Request for forgiveness
The importance of these components are people respond to your apology much faster as these factors come into play. The key part is your words weigh and they are very validated with ease. The heart of the apology is acknowledging the responsibility, where in crude terms you own up what you did.
There again the more you explain yourselves the more tenacious your reputation would look. The simple and most eased out way is to accept what is wrong as wrong and admit the facts as is.
Every situation need not turn out in our favor but it should never at least go wrong because of us. The next step as the name suggests “offer of repair”, understand the complexity of the situation and extend what you could offer to make things right from your end. Apologizing to the person whom you blew up on in-between the same set of members present, in case, then the situation could clock back and repair the situation to far certain extent.
For example, if you notice that you tend to get testy when your days are over-scheduled, you can make a commitment to doing a better job of managing your workload, or taking more breaks. If you have a problem with getting defensive, you might choose to give others permission to gently point out when you’re being less receptive to their perspectives so that you can check yourself in the moment.
Or, if you really have a hard time managing your temper, you could promise to work with a coach to develop strategies that will help you to gain greater control over your reactions. Then, make sure to do it. After all, if you keep exhibiting the same behavior over and over, pretty soon your apologies are going to become meaningless.
Be patient. Finally, although you may have moved on quickly from the incident, others may not have. Therefore, even if you’ve been on your best behavior for weeks, realize that it may take more time for others to believe that the changes you’re exhibiting are real.
You’ll need to be consistent with your new behaviors, you’ll also need to be patient. If people have been experiencing you one way, it will likely take some time for them to a) notice that you’ve changed your behavior and b) believe that it’s a permanent change. Therefore, try not to get frustrated if it takes longer than you would like for people to recognize the changes you’re making. Keep it up, and they’ll start to notice.
The reality is, recovering after losing your temper at work can be a challenge. But, although transforming others’ perceptions of you isn’t always an easy task, with consistency, focus, and patience, it can definitely be done.
Being consistent at all costs to maintain an even temperament at all costs makes you more reliable and the vice versa for others. Displaying this helps you hone a better reputation and learn more and create better solutions to ease out the most herculean of tasks as well.
Your words speak your emotion, though you get angry and are entitled to your calmness things will automatically turn around in your favor.
Relationships do matter. When you have put in your time, effort and energy to maintain strong relations, so much so forth trust and emotions go in it. On professional grounds it is very important to maintain a reliable couture and amicable relations to work.
When you have built strong relationships with those around you, they’ll be more likely to forgive the occasional misstep. This makes sense, given that when you have a strong relationship with someone, you will have amassed a variety of data points that will give you a well-rounded view of the individual.
Therefore, to rehabilitate your reputation, it’s essential to take the time to build genuine relationships with others. As Socrates wrote, “The way to a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.” As such, once you’ve lost your temper, your goal shouldn’t just be to change others’ perceptions of you; your goal should be to adjust your underlying character, so that the reputation you’re striving to achieve, will be a reflection of who you truly are.
Self Control. As per the research, the professor of Psychology, Mr Roy F. Baumeister, Self-Control is one of the most powerful tools to success. And most importantly the vital key to understand human selfhood.
In his own words, “Self-control is about changing yourself” We could disagree to this to far certain extent. The true self only comes into play when you cut the layers of bullshit from your personality. The more you understand your fundamentals right the easier it is to control yourselves and need be the situations you put yourselves in.
“..regulating your thoughts, your emotions, your impulses and desires, and your task performance. Working with a marvelous group of colleagues, we have developed the radical new view that altering oneself depends on a limited resource”. For example, you are streamlined in a company where your colleagues are nothing less than a distraction for wrong reason, there is nothing much you could befit rather set your boundaries and step aside.
But, when you again, look at the bigger picture, the chances of meeting the strangers with better qualities and hence learning from them is very helpful. Fending for your energy is very convenient as there is an ocean of knowledge for you to associate and learn and build your resume.
The “Strength Model of Self-Control” has attracted much interest from many researchers, and hundreds of studies have replicated our original findings and added many new insights. The idea that a central part of the self is a stock of energy that is used to exert control provides a new and different vision of human nature.
To know and consider the words that fly out before the situation always take a step back and re-evaluate the situation with patience. Be consistent at all times to maintain a neutral temperament. Own the responsibility of your actions and words. Run the lines in your head and don’t let them sound offensive other than conveying the message.
Turn the odds in your favor as you be apologetic and extend your offer to work on the blunders or cause of concern was all about.